Exactly a year ago, at this precise time, I finished writing my first novel.

Finished editing, and copyrighting during this past year.
Now all I need is a Publisher… or a Literary agent.


A Surge of Positivity

Yes, I’m actually feeling positive. I read somewhere that if you reflect upon just three good things of that day before you sleep, it makes you feel better. If you write it down, it will make you feel even more positive.
The idea behind writing down things that made you feel good on the said day is to make you relive those good moments. When your mind is focused on the good, reminded of the good, it begins to believe in the good. And trust me, I did that and well, it’s worked. I have been more positive in these 25 days than I had been last year.
Ah well, so much for the name of my blog.
I really don’t know if what I say makes any sense to anyone. I tend to drift in and out of random thoughts. The typical ADHD type of behaviour. But it isn’t that bad, you know. It just goes to show that I have a lot in my mind that I am dying to articulate. And that delivery of thoughts might get messed up. There is an idea everywhere. You just need to see it. Maybe read between the line (Maybe that will help).
But just to clarify, I’m not promoting any satanic cult or probing you towards the dark side. I’m just sharing my thoughts, which linger in and around the grey area. I won’t say there isn’t any black or white. I’m just saying it’s up to you. Either you can look at the grey, the black or the white. Your perception really does make a difference.
What you perceive is what you believe. And belief, as many have seen in the past, can demolish buildings; moving mountains might be next on the list.
Well, let me know if this made you think.

May Your Darkness guide you to Your Light!

No New Year Post…

No new year post? Nah… I didn’t want to do that.
I started the year with a mini vacation. Finished writing my book. Done with over 225k words, meaning my book will be roughly 666 pages.
Ah well, starting work on editing today onwards. For now it’s inhouse, but making plans for professional help. Already in talks with legal consultants.
Didn’t think I had in me, did you?

Nearing the End of another Year

The year is coming to an end. This has been a hell of a rollercoaster ride from hell to heaven with a ticket cut to Genabackis right after finishing off Westeros. Yes, geeky.
I’ve had my ups and downs. I’ve had my share of drama. My time in the light, my epiphanies in the dark. I started this blog for absolutely no reason other than the fact that I love to write. And well, Here I stand (sit actually) barely 10,000 words from finishing my very first novel. Yes, that is what I have been up to all year. But it wasn’t an easy ride. Actually it was. The supplements of my real life however weren’t.
Understand this, I keep saying look to the dark, tread in the dark, etc., etc. because I don’t think the darkness is wrong. Hell, it is only one side of the coin. Nothing is bad. Well, Godhra was bad. But never mind.
I’ve come to a point where I can really see how far I have come. Not just with my novel, but with my life. In less than a year, I wrote over 214914 words. And well, I have lived much and more than that. And with every incident that has passed, I can see how it has all affected me. I’ve made terrible mistakes, realised terrible wrongs and tried to right all I could.
Just look back to your year and see how much you’ve done. How much have you suffered? How much have you lived? Every instance that will flash in your mind will show you how great your life has been. Or not. Depends on your perception.
I’ve done not so socially acceptable things this year (nothing illegal), and well I’m happy. That is what matters. (Fuck, I’m cheesy. I see know how much I might have changed as well.)
Anyways, hope you guys had a great year.

May the Darkness guide you to Your Light!

Valentine’s Day

I believe that all couples must be in heaven today for it is the day of the black roses’ legitimate brother’s day. I don’t know if you can make sense of the previous statement but any greasy and cheesy nut can understand, it’s valentines day. What a farce! The media has for sure hyped up this lovely day, or is it really that lovely? Do you think it is important to show your love just on 14th February? Why not everyday? Go show your love to your beau. Show it everyday. Every moment you can ever steal from life. Wear a condom.

Celebrating Existence

Just my last post, I mentioned the first anniversary of my film ‘Désespoir’. Today, I’ll mention something even more intimate. Today I finish 20 revolutions around our lovely sun.
Well, this might seem like a ‘Hey its my Birthday. Give me attention!’ post, but its not. I had some thoughts that churned in my mind. As the day passed by, with the societal rituals being followed, candle, cake and gifts being happily consumed, I began to think of a more deeper issue. I had finished almost 20-25% of my life, assuming that I would live to be at least 80 in this disease trodden world. With that, I understood, I entered a new phase of life. One where things will, and I too should, get serious. A new Phase. A new Chapter.
So many have been born on this very same day. So many have died as well. But I spend the day in lovely companionship with my friends, not caring about any of that. And no matter how dark and black I may be on the inside, I cannot but help it. I love them all. They got me the best gifts ever. A tiny army knife, many books, and loads of other things. To be true, these material gains I received have terribly overwhelmed me with a great wave of happiness and joy.
And as these thoughts cross my mind, I believe that the coming year is when I will, and I definitely should, begin my steps, from walking to sprinting, towards my goal. This is the second time I have done the same type of post. But this one is mainly to thank my friends for their blessing good wishes and to pay gratitude to the Gods that may or may not exist, for all the good and bad that has happened. For I am what I am because of everything in the past.Today, I truly do celebrate. Not the anniversary of my birth, but I celebrate my very existence.

The Past be a Prequel,
The Present its Sequel,
While the Future, an announced production,
That has yet to be planned.
It cannot exist without the Present’s presence,
Which in turn is nothing without the Past’s existence.
Life is a cyclic force, living with rules of causality.
It is our Dharma, it is our Karma,
To be what we must,
And to seek what we are,
for better or worse,
Through the Darkness, that envelopes us,
To the light we all seek,
But you mustn’t look for light,
Instead, embrace the darkness,
For Life is exactly that,
A meaningless concept,
That is full of Abstracts.

A Year Later…

Time so flies, like dust and its grain,
All seems meaningless, yet nothing goes in vain.

Exactly on this day, one year ago, I did something very close to my heart. I uploaded my first film on YouTube. Titled ‘Désespoir’, the film was our most ambitious and probably our best piece of work in the whole of last year. As I sat today at Cutting Chai, watching several films in their film events, I realised the fact that an entire year had passed since I had done something so fulfilling. One year and five films later, Ixius Films, our production house, was standing idle, waiting for it’s next project to come by. And today, it struck me what I wanted. The films I saw at the festival, that wasn’t what I wanted to do. I could not picture myself making any of those films, and even if I was, the film would turn out to be very different that what I saw. Something was amiss.
A year ago, I was naive, going through an existential crisis, just overcoming it by the turn of the year. Last year began with a great surge of positive energy. I did so many things. But had I moved away from my own path towards something just flashy and appealing? No, what I find appealing is very different from what mainstream and hipster culture features. I don’t like to see what stupidity the masses worship. Neither do I want to do something corporate like the very education that I have been unwillingly pursuing. No, I want to spread ideas, emotions and evoke harmonious horror into peoples’ lives. Not being sadistic, but I have a different perception of things that can get people to think, to explore ideas in an unconventional way. Then what went wrong?
Nothing went wrong. Sometimes you need to go through a dark tunnel to understand that the light you live in is actually a precious gift. So think twice before you blow it up with your ignorant godforsaken soulless endeavours. I cannot explain the purpose in life for our lives to be true are meaningless. And maybe that is the pursuit of life, to find meaning in that which seems meaningless. To fill the void that you have yourself created for your own sake. Live for whatever time you must and do so, without once diverging from thy path. And if the divergence is needed, well, it is but an experience you need, for it is important for you to grow and evolve into what you must be before you depart for a place much larger and higher than our own.
And so, with such not-so-dark thoughts, I begin this blog. I always wanted to do so. This is my step forward into doing what I have always dreamed of. This blog has no meaning, and yet is full of it. Understand and it is good. Don’t understand and well, it matters not. For now, I must say, to whoever bothers to read this, ‘Death is the Ultimate goal  of Life. So Die, but only after you have done Justice to your Life’.

May the Darkness guide you to Your Light